Why I don’t remember his first word but will never forget his first sentence

My firstborn was a dream come true, slept through the night without any training at 10 weeks old. She would play on her own for hours. Excel in speech and reading at a very young age. It was a bed of roses as far as parenting was concerned – we were very contented and grateful.

My second, however, was a totally different story. He was the opposite of what we were accustomed to. What we’ve learned from raising our daughter didn’t seem to yield the same result with our son. We were constantly being pulled back to the drawing board, trying to figure out the ‘what’s wrong’ and ‘what’s next’. Parenting him was very challenging, so much so that it impacted our social life and personal well being – something that we never saw coming.

Here’s just a quick snapshot of what we experienced: He would stay awake between 2 to 4 hours on a nightly basis for over a year. Unable to play on his own. Unable to travel in the car peacefully. Unable to communicate (4-word broken sentences at best) before turning four. Meltdowns whenever he got ‘wet’ (over a 10-cent coin size wet spot from washing his hands or drinking water!). Hypersensitive and overwhelmed easily with noise, light, crowd, clothing labels/fabrics, very selective in food etc. He would wash his hands profusely after touching any new plastic toy whilst complaining that his hands were soapy. His meltdowns were big and unpredictable. He would go from ‘green-light’ to ‘red-light’ in a flash! Once he burst into a full-blown meltdown because our neighbour’s dog stopped barking – he wanted the dog to bark non-stop, great! Shortly after that, he broke out in a rash on both sides of his cheeks. The rash did not itch or hurt, but it persisted for over a month despite me giving him probiotics, removed dairy and gluten, changed his toiletries, eczema ointments…. (I’ll come back to this.) 

While we were still treading on the ‘oh every child develops differently’ path, the educators at his Early Learning Centre suggested that we should consider intervention to help support his speech and behavioural issues. So, off we went to get an OT assessment done and were told that our son had Sensory Processing. However, we innately knew that there was an underlying root cause for his “symptoms”. We decided to take a step back with the intention to find someone who could help us identify the root cause. As the Universe would have it, during a casual conversation with a friend, I got to know of a Kinesiologist. I had little knowledge of this modality of healing, but I was curious, and it had helped my friend with her emotional struggles. My husband researched and told me he resonated with the work she does, so we got in touch and had ourselves an appointment.

We prepared some notes to discuss with the kinesiologist on the first session. She held a straight face, but I bet it shocked her a little when my husband brought out the 2 pages worth of issues and challenges we had with this little person. 

“Why is my son behaving this way?” A question we have had been asking for over 3 years but to no avail. Nothing prepared us for the answer that the kinesiologist provided. “His nervous system is overwhelmed because he does not feel safe.” she said. She must have read my mind, because she quickly assured me that it was not something we are doing or did. He apparently was involved in wars in multiple past lives! So he came into this life prepared to fight. He was in constant fight or flight mode. I was like “What?!”

I am not unfamiliar with the concept of past life, but I had a limited understanding of it and I didn’t really know that one could carry such fears from other lives. It was an insightful session. Remember the rashes on his face? It started to subside by the end of the session. The next morning when he woke up, the rashes were completely gone! WOW!

The practitioner warned me, he could go either way for the next 24 hours. He might be tired or he could climb the walls. By the 50th hour, I was crying, he was screaming, my husband was stressed and my daughter anxious. “I did not expect both my son and I to be climbing the walls for over 48 hours!” I cried as I wrote the email to the practitioner begging her for help. Again she assured me that it will pass and that it is a good sign. We got over it. Life got back to our normal. About 10 days post the session, my husband came home from picking my son up from school and as he burst through the door he said “Roen said his 1st sentence at school today.” I was like okay, he probably said something like “I want to play” or “I don’t want eat”. So I turned to my husband, gave him a smile and asked “So what did he say?” My husband who was trying to contain his excitement, pride and surprise explained that he heard Roen say this to his teacher, and he emphasized that he said it all in one breath and with confidence…

”Tina, can I have another turn because I want to show my Dad.” 

There was no turning back after that, he became this chatty little boy who had something to say about everything. 2 months later, my daughter said “Mum, do you realise that Roen hasn’t complained about soapy hands for awhile now?” Fast forward half a year, no more dramas if he accidentally gets wet from washing his hands, no dramas with clothing labels, he would just ask for his clothes to be changed or labels to be removed in a calm manner and would be able to wait without going mental. His educators saw a lot of improvements with the number of meltdowns which went from a few times a day to a couple a week and gradually few and far between. 

A year on, we have a son whom we enjoy being with. Our daughter has a playmate to join in on her pretend-plays and have sibling arguments with. We are able to take him out to crowded, noisy places without any worries. He settled into Reception easily, he is confident and eager to learn.

Kinesiology changed our lives! I was so amazed by the results that it inspired me to learn this modality of healing and become a practitioner. I am now consulting with Flourish Kinesiology and enjoying seeing the changes I assist adults and children make evey day.